Familiarity is the strongest human instinct. What parents don’t understand about their child’s adolescence is that in the process of maturation to become a full functioning adult one must become an adult. Not only is going through puberty, which is mainly biological, but to become separate from his/her parents an individual adult with their own identity.
One of the speed bumps in growing and changing is resistance. Familiarity is such a strong instinct that it can hold an individual back from becoming all that they are capable of becoming. We can break down this process of keeping things familiar the first is generalization. We can take a situation, an experience, or an idea that an individual has had then he generalizes it and in his mind applies it to all situations- he limits his capabilities.
The English language is very complex with sound alike words with entirely different meanings; there are synonyms, antonyms and homonyms. And the spellings deviate from the phonic sounds. When I was in first grade the method of instruction was that of sight reading. The teacher would hold up a card with one word printed on it and say the word. We may have reviewed the alphabet but we were not taught the sounds of each letter hard and soft. This was confusing to me and when I compared myself to other pupils that were better readers I became frustrated because my motivation was learning to read. Then the teacher was inept on the psychology of young children putting me through several diagnostic tests because of this I assumed that there was something wrong with me. This created a map in my mind of who I was and what I was capable of – I generalized this experience and applied it to my intelligence! Yet several years later I finally was able to decode the printed word and became an excellent reader above my grade level in elementary school.
Deletion is when we focus on certain aspects of our experience at the expense of others. We put all of our attention at a problem and worry about the negative consequences rather than putting our mind’s attention and energy to solutions. We become the problem instead of creating a solution. Poor people see their problems as life; rich people see themselves as bigger than their problems and seek solutions.
Distortion is where we shift the meanings of things. My son Bradford is a Fine Art Photographer. He takes digital photographs then layers multiple images and distorts the image to create something new. Pessimists and optimists shift the meanings of their experiences in life to its opposite. Generalization, deletion and distortion work together in our mind to create a map of the world and our place in it. We can unshackle the chains of our self-imposed limitations and create an abundant life by understanding, thinking and changing our beliefs about ourselves.
“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of becoming paralyzed at the thought of difficulty in every opportunity.” –Walter E. Cole
1. Create a Vision for yourself.
2. Write a plan of action, prioritize.
3. Live the plan as if you have become your vision.
4. Find mentors
5. Do it now!
“Motion creates the self.” –Nathaniel Branden
So get moving!
I am available for personal consultations, for an appointment you can reach me at: 520.977.0141
See you on Success Road!